This morning I realized how spiritually empty I feel. I realize that while I have been preparing lessons, I have not for myself been digging into the Word. So I decided to change that this morning. I flipped to Nehemiah and began reading about his grief for the exiles and his prayer being answered (the first couple chapters).
As I read the Bible college student in my screamed to make sure that everything I share and write has all of the context in mind so that I don't misread or misinterpret anything, but I knew that God was trying to show me something through my reading. I really felt like my own cry was like Nehemiah's request to go rebuild. I plead for God to allow me to rebuild the spirits of these trafficked people. Based off of Nehemiah 2:5, I wrote my own prayer to the King, pleading to allow me to go wherever He calls me. This was a helpful exercise for me and I encourage you to do the same. This morning I have also had much anxiety about today. The number of places we are going as well as the lessons we are preparing. I do not feel prepared to say or teach anything and I'm honestly a little scared. Praying, praying, praying.... Nehemiah 2:8 stands out. "And the king granted them to me because the good hand of my God was on me." Throughout the things that god calls me to and the ministries that I have become a part of, I need to remember that the good hand of my God is on me. It is on me. He is with me. He goes before me in all that I do and in all that I face. I pray that I am not anxious about the words I speak because I do not want them to be my words, but His. I am realizing more and more how quickly this trip will be over. After today we only have 3 days left, and the last of those days we end at the airport heading back (duh, but this seemed crazy soon to me). It is crazy to think how long the hard moments have been and how quick the easy moments have been. I know that I will be joined to these women that I have ministered with for long after this trip ends. We will always remember theses moments, especially the ones when we were at our lowest and just had to pray together. If not anything else, we are joined by those beautiful small moments. Like Nehemiah and the builders of the wall, I will fight for God's people and will not run when mocked or oppressed. I will arm myself with Scripture and Truth and will continue rebuilding what Satan has tried to destroy here... 12:08 We are done with visiting another mission. This one teaches women to sew and then sells the product in order to fund their program. They also teach the women English which is a huge salary booster here. We talked to the founders as well as bought from their boutique. The owners were extremely encouraging and we were all very motivated by their hearts and their work. Since there were no women currently in their program due to a recent graduation, I must go back some day in order to see their training facility. It has seemed like a fairly calm day which is nice for us since we have been so busy and a bit stressed. We will be eating lunch with the women at one of the centers and then teaching a lesson. 7:48 pm Today was a big blessing. I was overwhelmed in the best way at both women's homes that we visited. The women were amazing and their hospitality was overwhelming (seems to be the word of the day). We had lunch there which included biryani, our interpreter's favorite. It was delicious to say the least. We watched the women put on a skit for us of the nativity and one girl sang a song she wrote about Jesus. The women also sang a song for us all together. We sang O Holy Night in a three part harmony that we had been rehearsing for quite a while. All of the songs were beautiful. We could feel the presence of the Lord in the room. There is something about singing a Christmas song that seems so traditional to me, just to have the women ask what it means right after we sang it for them. It was a beautiful moment to be able to share with them the meaning of O Holy Night. A song that all of us were simply used to hearing every Christmas. We gave them gifts and they gave us all flowers which was amazing because we did not expect them to be so generous. I can't lie, I was holding back tears the whole time. When you see someone with so little and that has been through so much, and they decide to give something to you, that is something so special. One of the women asked me to pray for her as we were leaving... it of course took me a while to understand what she was saying due to her broken English and my crazy teary-eyed emotional state. Of course I prayed for her but then I cried again (not surprised). It was in that moment that I was praying in which the whole course of the last 5 months really hit me. How God opened up this opportunity and provided everything I needed for it, all of that to bring me to this one moment with this one woman. This is what ministry is. This is what missions is. This is what being a Christian is. Hearing God's call to a random opportunity, Him providing everything I need, and me just going and doing what He leads me to do. This is what it is. I am overwhelmed by the transforming power of Jesus Christ. He truly makes us new creations.
0 Comments
|